I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
