i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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