is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
only if we run a train.
done.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
