Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
