butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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