I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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