omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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