I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize