Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
