We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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