i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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