The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
