I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
