Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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