HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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