Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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