he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
