Taylor Swift is so right about you.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
