We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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