Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize