I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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