Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
