She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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