OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
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