Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
