Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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