last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
