During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
barbara walters just said penis...
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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