but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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