Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
