If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
