the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
