dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
