he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Fuck appropriateness.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
