Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Randomize
