Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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