I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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