sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
