Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i think i have two assholes
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
