idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
