Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Randomize
