My hand turned me down
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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