i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
