so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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