There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
