Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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