2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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