You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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