oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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