It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
