did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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