I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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