ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
