I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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