Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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