You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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