Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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