Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My pussy is not your playground.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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