How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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