I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
