One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
