She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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